


Five Things the Doctor Really Shouldn't Like About River

by MusicalChick13



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-02-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 10:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1185252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalChick13/pseuds/MusicalChick13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But does anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1. The Fact that She's Not Afraid to Shoot People

 

**1\. The Fact that She's Not Afraid to Shoot People**

 

He _really_ doesn’t know why it affects him so much. Or in this particular way. But there’s something so incredibly…appealing about way she doesn’t hesitate to completely annihilate anyone who gets in her way.

Maybe it’s because she looks so good doing it. The grace and ease with which she handles her gun is nothing short of spectacular. The way she takes something cold, hard, and rough and makes it into something smooth and, well, actually kind of elegant.

However, he’s been around long enough to know that it’s more than that. He’s seen far too much and been burned far too many times to be impressed with just a pretty face (and other parts).

It helps that she’s so… _proficient_ when it comes to anything involving guns. A near-perfect aim, efficient use of whatever weapon she happens to have, obvious knowledge of how to properly those weapons- _that_ he could be impressed with. He had always had a soft spot for women who were especially skilled at what they did.

Of course, he suspects the real reason has nothing to do with any of this. In being quick to crush potential threats, she shows an ability to assess danger and do what needs to be done to get rid of it-an ability to take care of herself. She proves she has control of the given situation. And if there’s one thing he can’t resist, it’s a woman who can take control.

So, against his better judgment, he loves the fact that, unlike him, she’s not afraid to shoot people. He really needed to get away from this woman with her brashness and her spoilers and her _hair_ before he developed some sort of a gun fetish.


	2. 2. Her Recklessness

 

**2\. Her Recklessness**

 

He supposes it really doesn’t surprise him that she seems to like jumping off of buildings/spaceships. Honestly, he had seen enough of her antics that he wouldn’t have any trouble believing any new piece of information about this woman, no matter how absurd. And it should bother him. The fact that she just…expects him to be there to catch her, like he’s going to follow her around like a lost puppy _really_ should just rub him the wrong way. (After all, hasn’t he gotten mad at who-knows-how-many companions of his before for thoughtlessly running off and needing him to come rescue them?) And it should bother him even more that she can be so cavalier about her safety and impulsively rush into dangerous situations with the enthusiasm of an adrenaline junkie on a sugar high. But it doesn’t.

Maybe the allure of a powerful, mysterious, intelligent, incredibly capable woman needing his help and trusting him completely appeals to some part of his lower, more primal nature. And he does admit it provides one hell of an ego boost, being the one she feels she can rely on for assistance. River is certainly a woman who can make her own way in the world without depending on or needing approval from anyone. That she chooses to trust _him_ , of all people, and that she isn’t too proud to admit she needs his help (and, really, only his help) is quite encouraging and makes him feel rather admirable.

But above all, it’s the fact that, even when she should be in a position of complete and utter helplessness, she still sets the scene on her terms. She turns her seemingly vulnerable position into one of boldness and empowerment. Even when she’s backed into a corner, she refuses to be the damsel in distress. And he finds that incredibly…well, hot.

Wow, when was the last time he used that word to describe a woman? And when did _that_ become a useable label in the first place? Oh, this is a problem. He’s not even bothering to lie to himself anymore. This needed to stop. God, this woman was going to be the death of him.


	3. 3. Being a Know-it-All

Few things are more annoying than someone who claims to know more than he does. Even fewer are more annoying than someone who actually _does_. And although he’d never admit it, those particularly annoying people who can one-up him are often the ones he’s the most impressed with.

…Not that she actually knows how to fly the TARDIS better than he does. Of course not. Even if that _were_ true (which it isn’t), he would never _actually_ admit it. She does always insist on using the bloody Blue Stabilizers of Dullness. However, the fact that she knows anything about how to fly the TARDIS at all is pretty impressive in and of itself. And the fact that she can follow his conversations and almost keep up with his lightning-quick brain proves that the [not charming at _all_ ] smirk she keeps on her face during most of her conversations with him is more than justified. He’s not too prideful to admit that she is one of the most intelligent women he knows.

But she’s still infuriating.

…Mostly…

He doesn’t really know why this isn’t completely repellant. Maybe it’s just because intelligent people are so hard to come by these days. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since someone came even remotely close to being able to see the universe the way he does. Maybe he enjoys the mystery of someone who, for once, knows more about him and his future than he does. And, of course, intelligence itself is always an admirable (and rather stimulating) quality.

But he suspects that simple answers like that would make things too easy. He knows that a part of it is the fact that it makes for some rather fun arguments. He’s always enjoyed finding ways to utilize his rather considerable (if he did say so himself) intelligence. He’s also always loved competition, just like the rest of his people. (Why else would they have invented chess or chosen to fly through space defeating other species and pretending not to interfere with history?) And competition/arguing were definitely more fun-and ultimately more satisfying-when you were up against a worthy opponent.

But she ultimately provides a change of pace. He’s grown so used to just about everyone falling at his feet and fawning over his vast wealth of knowledge without question. She keeps him on his toes. Being able to teasingly hold their future over his head, mock him about ideas most people could never _begin_ to understand, and offset his supposedly terrible driving inject his life with a level of newness and unpredictability that he has been craving for goodness-knows-how-long. He had always enjoyed a good mental exercise, and she was certainly capable of providing him _that_. (Among other things, he imagined.

…He _never_ said that.

…Or thought it.

…Or…whatever.)

But maybe this whatever-they-were wasn’t going to be so bad. This bickering-slash-competing-slash-slight-concession-of-redeeming-qualities that they had cultivated thus far was shaping up to be highly invigorating and rather enjoyable.

He _really_ hopes he doesn’t regret thinking that later on.  
 


	4. 4. Her Stubborness

Bloody obstinate woman. They never listen. _She_ never listens. The whole bloody universe could be deteriorating around them and she would _still_ do everything in her power to finish what she started. But it’s not like this is a new thing. Does she ever listen when he tells her to be careful? No. Does she ever listen when he tries to explain to her who he is- _what_ he is? No. Does she ever listen when he elaborates on his perfectly sound [and obviously right] points of view? No, of course not. Because that would be far too simple, wouldn’t it?

He supposes this should bother him. Having yet another insanely stubborn woman in his life to contend with. It’s all the more maddening that she knows him well enough that her stubbornness regarding him is justified.

But, like so many other things about her, it only serves to make her more alluring.

He can’t really explain why, but…actually, yes, he can. He just doesn’t want to.

…But if he _were_ to attempt to explain it, he’d say that it means she’s not afraid to fight for what she wants. It means that she won’t give up, even against impossible odds-a frame of mind he has to fight to keep almost constantly. He’d say that determined and perseverant women have always had a special claim on both of his hearts. That one of the reasons that humans were such beautiful creatures was because they refused to stop fighting. And he’d say that, in the rare moments when she can afford to be fully and completely honest (or, God forbid actually _agrees_ with him), it’s all the more meaningful because he knows she means it with every fiber of her being.

This woman, this River Song with whom so much of his life had become tangled up would never let anyone tell her what to do. Regardless of who was telling her otherwise-humans or immortals, gods or demons-she would never back down. She would hold fast to her opinions and never stop trying. She would never stop being herself. She was brave even in the face of even the most seemingly insurmountable obstacles.

And _that_ , the Doctor realized, made her truly beautiful.

So he makes a decision while standing on top of a pyramid in a rapidly disintegrating world. He takes off his bowtie to wrap around her wrist, preparing to do the one thing he vowed all those years ago he could never do. And he’s never been more sure, or more uncertain, of anything else in the past 1,100 years.


	5. 5. Her Flirting/Shamelessness

It’s been a long time since he’s done this. This attempting to foolishly show off for members of one’s preferred sex(es) (or everyone, if your name is Jack Harkness) and making references to primal acts that he feels humans really should have evolved past by now. But the moment she drops the word “Sweetie,” he feels himself jovially playing along with her flirtatious nature every step of the way.

He supposes he deserves a bit of fun after the pain of the last 1,100 years. But he has other ways of obtaining that which make him look far less ridiculous.

And, as always, it’s far more complex than something that can be described with a handful of generic nouns and adjectives.

He does have to admit that it’s nice to see a woman who isn’t afraid of owning who she is. Most women he meets always try to pretend to be someone else in order to impress him. It’s nice to be on speaking terms with someone who isn’t flustered by him and who doesn’t feel the need to hide-someone who can approach him confidently and without fear. It complements her independence and reminds him that she won’t let any of her century’s lingering traces of stereotypical Earth gender roles tell her what she can and can’t do. And, well, even he had to concede the appeal of a particularly courageous, individualistic female, given his previous track record with women he lets into his life.

It’s also the fact that it comes so naturally to her. He’s still getting used to throwing out such gems as “hi honey, I’m home” or “yeah, well maybe I will.” But _she_ has turned shameless teasing and flirting into an art form. She does it cleverly with a certain kind of practiced smoothness and skill that he can’t help but be completely fascinated with.

And she _always_ does it at the _worst_ possible time.

Which excites him far more than it probably should. Of course, when arriving at the absolute worst possible time on foreign worlds or friends’ houses or cocktail parties was one of your greatest talents, and breaking the rules one of your most frequent hobbies, he supposes it really isn’t all that surprising that her inopportune timing only makes him fall further into the whatever-this-is that they have.

And he realizes that this recent flash of insight will only make it that much harder for him to say good-bye when the time comes.

And for the first time in his life, he wishes that time could pass a little more slowly.


	6. The One Thing He Doesn't Like

 

**That She's Everywhere**

He can never really get away from this woman. It seems like wherever major trouble is brewing, she’s involved somehow, if she’s not too busy _causing_ the aforementioned trouble in the first place.

 

And through decade after decade, reminders that she knows more than he does-from strange rooms cropping up on the TARDIS that he’s pretty sure aren’t in any of the ship’s current databases, to messages of varying urgency on his psychic paper always signed the same way, to suspicious pieces of period wear he’s certain even _he_ would never be caught dead in that somehow keep showing up in his closet-thickly pepper his life.

 

Of course, there are the insane, grand-scale messages she leaves, too, as well as her presence in far more of his library’s history books than anyone deserves the pressure of being in.

 

…But none of that matters. Because she’s gone, now. She’s gone and she’s still here.

 

Her Library copy follows him everywhere. She thinks she’s merely a meaningless echo that he can’t see, but he can’t bring himself to tell her that she is so much more than that. Not when he’s suffocating from the guilt. Not when memories of a life he wishes she could still have haunt his already tortured mind and fill him with more sadness than he cares to admit. Not when admitting that he sees her all the time will force him to accept that she’s really gone.

 

And it’s not only when her data imprint is in his presence. Whenever he’s running through false paradises and hidden wastelands and is about to do something incredibly foolish, he hears her voice in the back of his mind berating him for even considering such a thing. Whenever he has a spare moment-one when he isn’t running or tinkering with his beloved ship or having a spot of tea with his companion-he thinks of her. Even in death, she’s still everywhere.

 

And the Doctor realizes that he’s finally come across a problem he doesn’t know how to solve. Which is why he asks her for help. After the pain of seeing her suffer becomes too much to bear, he finally, willingly bares what’s left of his soul and revels in her closeness for the last time. It’s far better than he could have imagined and infinitely worse. So she guides him through how to say good-bye, as she has guided so many others-especially him-through so many things. When she fades for the last time, the Doctor feels both of his hearts breaking all over again.

 

But despite everything their story has brought, from the hiding of futures and awkward stabs at romance to the slapping and assassination attempts, he knows that he wouldn’t change any of it.

 

Not one line.

 


End file.
